Hardest Birthday Letter I've Had to Write
Dear Margo,
Yesterday we celebrated your 10 month birthday. It's been a big month. You're such a rock star. Besides discovering the effect of humidity on your hairstyle, you've gotten to know Grandma and Grandpa, Auntie Laurie and Uncle Dan, your cousins Kim and Jenna, your Tati Pat and Tonton Peter. You've learned to climb onto furniture (much to my dismay!). You've learned to clap, wave bye bye, and you've started to become a much more smiley girl. You're changing every day, and I am enjoying watching you grow and morph and become who you are meant to be.
Each day that passes though, I know that it brings me one day closer to the day when I will no longer know you quite the way I do now. I can't help but think about this each morning when we have our marathon nursing session, leisurely, in bed. In 3 weeks' time, will I feel the need to rush through this, to get out the door? Will I be thinking about what to pack for lunch, if my work outfit is ironed, if I've prepared enough food for you, if the house is tidy enough for the nanny to arrive? I treasure these relatively care-free days, since I know that the next time I'm home with you there will most likely be a newborn joining us.
I can't help but worry that you'll be mad at me for leaving you, even though the biggest part of me knows that you'll be fine. But the fact that I won't be the person who knows you best pretty much breaks my heart, so I was reluctant to sit down and write this letter to you. Next month I may not be able to speak with such authority about all you've been doing. I do know that I will love you more then than I do now. I'm amazed at my heart's ability to grow and stretch with every day to accommodate the depth of feelings I have for you. I know this will only continue to occur, regardless of whether I'm with you almost every minute of your day.
Gros bisous, ma fille. Enjoy next weekend with your papa when I scuttle down to New York State for some back to work shopping. I'll be thinking about your every second and I know that you'll be fine.
Lots of love,
Mama.
xoxoxoxoxo
Labels: Birthday letter
This entry was posted
on Wednesday, July 11, 2007 at 8:54 a.m..
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8:53 p.m.That sound you just heard folks, was Maman's heart rebounding off her sleeve. Papa makes inaudible sounds in his hand as it stretches over his quiverng, contorted mouth. And who would want it any other way? Not I...not Margo.
Your BTlF - Best Tati, like,For-ever
Julie
12:29 a.m.
Ah... Donna that is so beautiful.
I feel the temporary separation also.
I put myself in your shoes.but Margo will probably prove to you that she can cope with the help of Papa.
She has come up with more new things that I didn't see. Climb,clap and wave.
I willget more news from Pat soon I hope.
Good Luck, take care.
12:58 a.m.
That was heartbreaking, I know that feeling all to well. You will still know her the best Donna, you are her mother and she knows that too. You made my heart crack..
4:04 p.m.
just lovely.
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