You are loved and you will be missed
My mom passed away yesterday after a short battle with an agressive cancer. I am utterly ripped up inside, and although I thought that I was prepared for what was to happen, I guess one is never ready for losing one's Mom.
I could write of my sadness for days, but I'd rather share some memories of my mom. She was a sweet, good person who rarely lost her temper, but when she did, her strength and restraint were evident.
I was very close to my mom; we talked every day, often more than once. Growing up, even through the teen years (*shudder*) we always communicated, and had a habit of staying at the dinner table to talk after the rest of the family had left. My dad would pour the tea and hijack it to the living room, and we would sit for a half hour or more, just to catch up.
My mom wanted the best for me, and was so happy when I met Michel. She loved him immediately (sometimes too much so it seemed - I could never get away with even minor complaints about him - she would reproach me with "he's the best, you're complaining for nothing." She was right.)
When Margo was born, she travelled out to Ottawa to spend a few weeks with us. I asked her what she wanted to do when she got here. "Hold the baby" was her response. She did alot of that, and a lot of cooking, too (a few months after she had left we discovered a few cinnamon buns in the freezer that she had made and we had forgotten we had frozen. What a treat and a taste of Mom!") I know it was physically hard for her to travel all this way and I appreciated having my mom here so she could see my life and see her new grandchild. I laughed when we had to rouse her in the mornings because she had been up late playing video games on our computer, enjoying our high speed internet. It was a little like living with a teenager.
Mom liked to gamble, always has, I think. Family games of Spite and Malice, Yahtzee and Rumoli always had an entry fee. Even if I had to occassionally give up my allowance, some of my best memories are playing games with her. One Trivial Pursuit game I remember as a kid, where Mom made up stories when she got a question wrong. "Oh I should have known that, I knew him" (in reference to Sir John A. Macdonald, for example). "We were friends." This went on the whole game and had us both giggling.
My friends will well remember coming over after school to have a snack - Mom always baked so there was always something to snack on. Puffed wheat squares, rice crispie squares, sweet marie bars, chocolate drop cookies, cakes, butter tarts, cinnamon buns - I can remember sticking my nose out of the covers each morning and sniffing to see what today's treat was going to be. Mom always rose at 4 am (she needed some time for coffee, a few cigarettes, and yahtzee - this was her only real 'alone' time). She would wake us one by one with a "rise and shine" or "shake a leg" in her cheery Edith Bunker-y voice. Sweet awakenings.
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One of the things she said to me in a tearful discussion shortly after her diagnosis was that she was so sad that she would not get to see Margo grow up. Don't worry Grandma, Margo looks at her photo every day, recognizes you from that photo, and will hear stories about you often. You'll always be in my heart, and I will share my love for you daily with my daughter. Love you Mom. I miss you so much already.
- Donna
This entry was posted
on Wednesday, February 06, 2008 at 7:53 a.m..
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10:30 a.m.Such beautiful words and memories, Donna. My thoughts are with you.
11:38 a.m.
Oh Donna, being one of those friends who enjoyed your mom's baking, I thank you for remembering her in this way.
Thinking of you guys these next few days..
1:08 p.m.
Donna, that is so well done,it is so touching.
I had a strong feeling that your mom was also your best friend.
I also feel that she was the backbone of a lot of things,am I right?
Margo,you will love reading about your Gramma in the future.
This is a very interesting reading.
Love you all Donna, Michel and Margo.
Grandmaman
8:52 p.m.
I never knew you Donna but I knew your Mom. I remember the blackjack games we use to have when I lived in Yellowknife. Do you remember the old bus, I think it belonged to your Aunty Doreen. We use to head down to Long Lake when they were camping there and play cards till late into the night and other times at Dorothy Woodburn's home. She was such a nice lady and I am so sorry to hear of her passing. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I am Danielle Sheck's Mother-in-Law and she told me of Monica's passing. My condolences -Susan Sheck.
1:38 p.m.
Donna and family. I am saddened to hear that your mum has left us - in physical presence. But never in spirit - as you have so wonderfully captured in your memories and shared with us. I have great memories of working with your mother at Mackenize Regional Health Service and hearing her tales and updates about you, Dean and Laurie, and the immense pride that she held for you. We coffee'd together and she was a wealth of YK society info! I have wonderful memories of your mother and will cherish them.
Jill
12:13 p.m.
Donna & Family - So sorry to hear of your mother's passing. I did not know her well but remember seeing her the odd time in Yellowknife. Such beautiful words. I know that she suffered for a long time. I know this wont sound good but it is a blessing. She will suffer no more. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
11:59 a.m.
Dear Donna
I recently read "you are loved and will be missed". I lost my mother last month and although she was 89 (90 in May) and unwell for a long time, I was unprepared for the sadness.
Emily has been so sweet throughout. I am beginning to feel better every day. Spring is just around the corner (we hope!)
All the best to you, Michel and Margot. Linda
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