Sinus Conditions (re: "The Snot Post")
Margo seems to have started developing a lot of mucus in her nasal cavity. Maybe it's a cold. I guess there's a small chance that it's an allergy. I also realized, walking to the bus on a cold morning, that I have a tendency to constantly clear my throat (yeah, I'm the guy sitting behind you at the movies), so maybe it's a hereditary trait. But the fact of the matter is, a few times a day, she gets to a point where she can no longer breathe through her nose.
And that's where the aspirator comes in.
Just a simple rubber apparatus that suctions mucus from hard to reach spots. Margo hasn't learned how to blow her nose yet, so these tools are necessary. Bobby pins are also useful to extract things when they're close to coming out, but it really feels like you're giving your child a lobotomy when you do that. Everytime we use the bobby pin, we immediately ask her what's more important when buying a car: low fuel consumption or that it's shiny. So far, so good, no brain damage (though last time she mentioned wanting a BMW Diesel, which gets good mileage, but releases exhaust that is higher in particulate matter, so I don't know what to make of that).
Back to the aspirator. This is what it looks like.
And to use it, you squeeze it, stick it far enough up her nostril to more or less form a seal around the tip, block her other nostril, and depress the bulb.
And this is how we feel when we have to use it on her.
And this is what Margo sees when we approach her with the aspirator.
(fyi, that means that she doesn't like it)
Yeah, doesn't like it is an understatement. She wails afterward, like right after she was born and was filling her lungs. Someone once compared it to sucking... I can't remember if he said that it was like sucking "your brains" or "your soul" out through your nostrils, but when you can't hear your partner pleading with you from a foot away to let her hold the baby because your baby is crying so hard, it's not really the time to get into the semantics of whether the functionality of aspirators is more akin to sucking out your brains or your soul.
But, it has to be done. Just another round of "Good Cop, Crimes Against Humanity Cop."
And then it's over, and she eventually stops crying, and Donna works her magic and actually gets Margo to smile, and life goes back to being boobie-centric again.
...for at least another 8 hours.
- Michel
And that's where the aspirator comes in.
Just a simple rubber apparatus that suctions mucus from hard to reach spots. Margo hasn't learned how to blow her nose yet, so these tools are necessary. Bobby pins are also useful to extract things when they're close to coming out, but it really feels like you're giving your child a lobotomy when you do that. Everytime we use the bobby pin, we immediately ask her what's more important when buying a car: low fuel consumption or that it's shiny. So far, so good, no brain damage (though last time she mentioned wanting a BMW Diesel, which gets good mileage, but releases exhaust that is higher in particulate matter, so I don't know what to make of that).
Back to the aspirator. This is what it looks like.
And to use it, you squeeze it, stick it far enough up her nostril to more or less form a seal around the tip, block her other nostril, and depress the bulb.
And this is how we feel when we have to use it on her.
And this is what Margo sees when we approach her with the aspirator.
(fyi, that means that she doesn't like it)
Yeah, doesn't like it is an understatement. She wails afterward, like right after she was born and was filling her lungs. Someone once compared it to sucking... I can't remember if he said that it was like sucking "your brains" or "your soul" out through your nostrils, but when you can't hear your partner pleading with you from a foot away to let her hold the baby because your baby is crying so hard, it's not really the time to get into the semantics of whether the functionality of aspirators is more akin to sucking out your brains or your soul.
But, it has to be done. Just another round of "Good Cop, Crimes Against Humanity Cop."
And then it's over, and she eventually stops crying, and Donna works her magic and actually gets Margo to smile, and life goes back to being boobie-centric again.
...for at least another 8 hours.
- Michel
This entry was posted
on Wednesday, November 22, 2006 at 9:50 p.m..
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4:22 p.m.Ok, you are seriously SO halarious.
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